Ahhhhh, the terrible two’s – the demise of every parent. What to do? How to deal? I get these questions a lot. The answer…redirection, repetition and consistency. If your child is doing something you don’t want them to do like standing on a chair, redirect them onto the floor and say “we keep our feet on the ground.” Be sure to keep it positive and always tell them what you want them to do.
“Keep your feet on the ground” vs. “Don’t stand on the chair”
Now, sometimes, actually who am I kidding, more times than not you will have to do and say this 20 to 50 times (maybe even more). This is the repetition part. At this stage of their development, this is how children learn.
Being consistent is what will yield the best results. I know, easier said than done. This is the sad truth and by far the most difficult thing to do especially if you have more than one child, work from home or just have plain old life to handle. They are testing you and seeing what they are allowed to do. If you allow them to stand on the chair sometimes and other times you make them get off, children will not know what to do. If they climb on the chair and every time you redirect them eventually they will know I shouldn’t climb on the chair. I find that most behaviors are extinguished anywhere from 3-6 weeks at this age.
If your issue is trying to get your two year old to do something like clean up, the same applies – redirection,repetition, consistency. The difference can be when a sibling or another child is helping. This time redirect them from the distraction to cleaning up.
“Let’s clean up so we can play outside” vs. “you are not going outside until you clean up”
If a sibling or friend is helping then you could focus on who is helping.
“Thank you for cleaning up, Izzie” or “It is so helpful that you are helping me clean up,Izzie”
Children are learning so much at this age. What we want them to focus on is their creativity, problem solving and their role as a toddler. If we can provide parameters and guidance for the rest of the things like safety and appropriateness, they can focus on playing and having fun.
Hang on for the ride because if you think two is bad, just wait for three.
